Pixie Incorporated.
By RubystarSage
The rosy sky with pinkish-lavender clouds overhead floated lazily by while birds and hot air balloons passed in between them. The air was filled with the powerful smells of baked goods, grilled meats, fish, and seafoods.
From the ground massive red, yellow-orange, pink, and blue mushrooms stood there decorated with beads and ribbons just the same as the trees. Rocks and boulders were being painted bright colors while satyrs and halflings and minotaurs were tuning their instruments.
Sounds of guitars, fiddles, drums, harps, strummed, plucked, or dropped (as one satyr dropped his drum on a minotaur’s sandwich.) The Satyr, now running, zigs-zags from an angry minotaur, apologizing all the while trying to avoid the horns. From gnomes, halflings, and dwarves pounding hammers against nails on planks- for the outdoor stage, to holding the ladders so their friends could setup the plush curtains and lighting.
To the fae, selkies, and centaurs setting up the concession stands, game booths, kissing booth and racetrack.
Some carried paint cans, barrels of balls, darts. While others carried toolboxes, large glass panes, and banners.
“This is going to be a great festival this year.” said a female centaur as she trotted along, toolbox in one hand & paint can in the other.
“It’s nice to see you so jazzed about this.” said a selkie crouched on the ground, paintbrush in hand. She thanked the centaur as she took the extra paint, then placed it next to her as she painted a second coat. “The contest this year seem stiff…cross your fingers we don’t have another brawl like last time.” She said trying to wipe the paint from her arms, shoes, and forehead (how did that happen? she did not know).
The centaur snickered as the selkie fussed with paint splatters, as a gnome chimed in from inside the booth “Then again, I did make a killing selling impromptu tickets and memorabilia.” He sat on top, fiddling with his beard, looking proud of himself. “Which,” the selkie started to ask, as she turned to look at him, “reminds me. Where’d you get that stuff and so fast?”
He shrugged saying, “I had a few in stock I needed to move & saw a business opportunity.”
“Well, I hope a fight doesn’t break out,” said a minotaur wearing a hardhat as he strolled up to them. He was carrying wooden planks, nails, a barrel of balls & a power drill.
“Since I got stuck breaking it up and helping clean up the mess.” He put down his supplies and assisted the selkie.
“Yeah, I remember that. Dang, sorry you got landed with all that.” The female centaur said as she came back from her delivery (she wiped the sweat from her brow with a rag while gulping down some juice).
“Yeah, I know. I didn’t cause that disaster show so, why am I doing any of the clean up?” He furiously painted the booth up and down still cranky at the thought. The sight of a large bullman painting as some birds perched on his horns, barely reacting was something.
“Relax dude, this year’s festival is gonna be a fun time…Oh, I almost forgot have you guys seen Lonnie?” the selkie-asked, trying and failing to wipe some paint off her hands, knees, as well as the back of her neck for some reason.
“Nah, haven’t seen her,” the minotaur replied shaking his head “though she’ll be here.” He chuckled a bit in between shooing the birds away.
Far and away from the hustle and bustle of construction and food prep over many yards, stood a stately building- made of red-brown bricks and well-maintained bushes. A figure could be seen through the windows and dull thuds could be heard as well.
“Thanks for coming considering we’re just about to kick off this festival.”
Said the voice belonging to a blue skinned Ogre. He chomped on a chocolate bar, dusting off the bits from his - business suit. He sat down behind a great hardwood desk in a room with magazines, hard bound books, and calendar on the wall titled `Big Booty Ogre’ monthly.
“Not a problem. I’m pleased to assist, especially since you mentioned something about a “generous bonus.”
Came the voice belonging to a (very, very) small woman with umber, brown skin & sharp purple eyes over her square frames. Her burnt orange leaf-like wings flapped as she floated to meet the ogre, face to face. The ogre offered a seat; she took it (though several books had to be added for her to meet him.)
“I’ll get to the point,” the ogre leaned back in his chair, fishing through a stack of papers behind him, and said as he put them in front of her “see these? I need you to retrieve these items before the start of the Half-moon festival.”
Fluttering from her seat she peered to get a better look then an amused smile crossed her face. “My,” she began, “I wonder how these went missing?” still smiling slyly on a photo of three gems. "Missing,’ my fine ass!
The ogre thundered leaning back again to put an icebag on his head. “I-err-I mean we were robbed. Don’t ask me how, but the thieves somehow swiped them and now, if I don’t get them back for the ceremony, I’m boned.”
“Now, you’re in the business of retrieving lost things & if those three gems are back in time my- position as Mayor is kaput.”
“Since you’re the best at what you do I need you to go find them, but very quietly.” Nodding her head she adjusted her glasses, clasped her hands saying “Mayor, I’ll be glad to take this job though you’ll have to give me some kind of lead.”
She fluttered to meet his gaze, rubbing her chin in one hand as the other twirled her thick braids. “Any possible suspects or clues left at the scene?” The mayor raised an eyebrow. “Oh, I have a good idea who might be involved and as for clues…”
The mayor placed a picture of an ash blond haired elf with narrow blue eyes and a patch of brown fur. “Alright, you suspect this guy and the reason he’d want to wreck your career…?”
“This is Ashely Altieri. A member of House of Blue thunder around here.” “As is usual with privileged families they have a lot of political clout and not fans of ogres.” The ogre pointed next to the fur. “And was at the scene of robbery. Now, I don’t know for certain if he was personally involved, yet- I wouldn’t put it past him.”
“So, does he turn into a werewolf or…?” the woman prodded.
“Nah, nah he doesn’t, yet he does own a lot of cats, including one with this sort of fur. "Now I can’t go around pointing the finger of blame without solid proof & as I said he comes from- a very influential family with a lot of pull…”
“Right, right I completely get where you’re coming,” she said, nodding while pulling out a monocle scanning over the fur.
“So, I’ll be off to take care of your issue though, as I mentioned this is short notice so that bonus…?”
“Yes, you’ll be compensated well Lonnie. Just handle this quietly.” “Indeed.”
"Halle-berry-lujah !"
The mayor exclaimed reapplying the icebag while the winged woman flew from the room after a quick goodbye.
Lonnie flew with a manic grin on her face out the back, spinning in midair thinking, - “Hot damn! I’m going to make a killing on this.” She pulled out a hand mirror for a check.
“Let’s see makeup and eye tattoos? Perfect. Outfit? Killer. Now to get Momo…”
Touching the mirror an image of a woman with lavender skin & chestnut brown hair puffs tied together in roses appeared.
She was watering a cactus when she faced Lonnie. “Heya, Momo guess what? I got us a job and it pays a mint.” Lonnie stated, puffing her chest up with pride. Momo smiled. “Alright, I’m coming out in just a sec.” Momo said as she put down water jug to see Lonnie…until she doubled backed to state, “I just hope we can finish this before the festival’s over.”
Lonnie waved her concerns off with a literal hand wave. “Relax, unlike that job with the taffy factory and bio slugs this won’t be that long. Just make sure you have the rope and powder #35.”
Lonnie closed the mirror as she flew through the sky enjoying the smell of good food and- the thought of a great paycheck. “Well as much I enjoy a good festival a heist with national on the line is also pretty sweet.” She thought as arrived at the apartment she and Momo shared. Momo waved at her as Momo ran with the supplies, green-blue eyes bright & joyful. “Alright, all set?” Lonnie asked rhetorically. She hugged Momo as her companion nodded. “You know it. I have the ropes, the powder, excreta and all the rest.”
“Cool.”
So, Lonnie wrapped her arm around Momo and off into the sky they flew. Lonnie gave a rundown of what the mayor told her during their flight. The sky was now ultramarine and cloudless, the grass and trees below were swaying as the warm air blew; up ahead of the two pixies stood an imposing fortress.
Metal bars on the windows, turrets lined the roof, and a moat filled with crocodiles (who all had freaking laser beams attached to their heads!)
“Oh, if this doesn’t scream “villain hideout…” said Momo wryly as she resisted the urge to laugh as she watched the crocs bounced a basketball around with the snouts as they swam.
“Are they playing basketball? Where did they get that?” she asked as the pixies landed on the ground hiding behind a massive tree. Lonnie replied smirking, “Eh, maybe they’re practicing during the off season for the pros?” all the while she pulled the monocle from her pocket. It glowed a bright pink. “Oh, we’re definitely at the right place and to business.”
They pulled out their tools as Lonnie motioned for the bag, took it, put the green powder into some treats and took off her earring. She tossed the earring to the crocs; a small pop sound went off then thick, white smoke appeared covering the whole area in fog.
The crocs (who’d been balancing the ball on their tails and snouts) stopped dead then emerged from the water, gnashing their jaws as low rumbles left their mouth while the laser beams switched on. Green lights darted to and fro in search of the target. Lonnie chucked the treats in the crocs direction. Holding up the monocle to her she peered into it.
Through the glowing item she could see the crocs taking the bait, having eaten the food and were now sleeping on their backs. She waited a few minutes to make sure the walking suitcases were in a deep sleep while she snatched up the rest of the supplies. Momo was waiting for Lonnie to give her the go ahead.
Lonnie took Momo by the hand whispering, “This was the easy part now to wait for…," then using the monocle- she saw the front gate being opened as well as the sounds of the guards. Lonnie put the monocle away and lifted Momo into the sky again. The footsteps of the armored men racing out- of the gate. The heavy fog, still active as well as the green lights from the sleepy crocs, were all that could be seen all the while Momo & Lonnie flew over the guards and inside unnoticed.
Once inside the fortress they scanned the perimeter for security orbs and observed the inside. It was archetypical of a medieval fortress could be. Tapestries, banners, and torches lined the stone walls alongside the mounted animal heads. Lonnie floated up to a gargoyle statue, landed on with Momo to take a break from flying, pulled out - the monocle which glowed pinker by the moment.
Momo for her part kept a look out for any hassles while Lonnie searched for the direction of where to go. She broke out four pairs of obsidian knives, handed Lonnie some, then asked “Ok, so which direction do we go?” as she peered over her friend’s shoulder. Lonnie pointed to the direction of one the doors down the hallway; before they could go a voice cut through the air.
“What the hell is that fog outside?!” the voice thundered. Lonnie’s purple eyes narrowed in concentration as she hid the monocle listening to the voice.
"Now, now let us not fuss. I’m sure there’s a logical explanation, besides the guards are already investigating.” Said another behind the first.
From out of the hallway door came two men. One well armored and one elf with ash blond hair and blue eyes. “Sir,” said the armored man began, “don’t you find it odd that a massive fog rolled in when-
weather conditions haven’t permit it?”
“Well, obviously. Though I’m not going to lose my head over it. Moreover, my mind is on other things.” Said the blond elf. “Lord Altieri, might I say that I’m not sure why those uh-er items you have are so important? "Are they worth the risk?”
Ashely Altieri crossed his blue robbed arms stepping from behind the guard to face him, looking dead in the eye. “Captain we’ve been over this before and yes, it is. It is incredibly important.”
Overhead Momo and Lonnie continued to silently listen, Momo quirking an eyebrow, Lonnie’s eyes still narrowed.
“This ceremony must be stalled…It is obnoxious enough that to have an ogre for an elected official, but to have one conduct the Half-moon ceremony on the night of the festival is an offense that not to be tolerated.”
He sneered. “Uh, hideous oversized brutes! That’s what happens when you apply affirmative action on an- underdeveloped, hulking, meat sack.” The captain concurred, nodding.
Ashely still sneering said, “Quite. Those filthy, unthinking, overstuffed blobs."
Lonnie looked down from the Gargoyle with disgust.
She thought, “Oy, of course he’d be a bigot! How unsurprising…well it makes me feel less guilty for what I’m going to do.” Momo also looked disgusted, shaking her head at those two below. When the two men left for the front Momo & Lonnie quietly floated up in the opposite direction to finish the job.
After arriving at the door, the two pixies entered through since Ashley and his hench left the door ajar.
They walked through, supplies at the ready Lonnie toon out the magic glass again. It glowed an intense, glittering pink “Ok, let’s get paid.”
“Indeed. Though I’m surprised they forgot to lock this, but you’d have busted those locks in four seconds.” Said Momo, playfully nudging Lonnie.
“I’ve yet to meet a lock I haven’t concurred.” Lonnie said it like it was a fact and up into the air they went. They flew down through the darkened stairwell deeper, deeper and deeper through twists and turns, the only light being the candles on the walls and the monocle Lonnie held in her hand.
Momo noticed a bug on the wall then in an instant zing! thunk! Thawp!
Out came needles with neurotoxins, a giant battle axe, a Warhammer and buggy was no more.
Momo grimaced biting her lip, eyes wide holding onto her friend, who by contrast blinked for a few moments, shrugged, and kept on flying.
After a while, (and a few more traps to evade), the two pixies looked upwards, and the flying came to a stop. Momo released her friend and went wide eyed, while Lonnie had a manic smile on her face.
“Well, let it not be said the guy doesn’t have expensive tastes.” Momo said seeing a bounty of platinum & silver artifacts & bejeweled mosaics; in front of the two were a pair of massive clockwork statues who looked like naked lady elves. Held in their hands were three gems. They sat in a glass case. One pink, one yellow and one blue. All three had a crescent moon in the center & glowed softly.
“Such a beautiful sight.” Lonnie said closing her eyes, her golden leaf tattoos started to glimmer as she lifted the obsidian knife she dug from her pockets.
Suddenly the clockwork statues started to move, glimmering the same color as Lonnie’s eye tattoos. They presented the glass case in front of Lonnie. She used the knife to cut open the glass, took the gems and placed them in one of bags.
“We’re all set so time to bounce.” Lonnie held the bag in triumph while the statues went back into place. “Good 'cause that fog isn’t going to hold…,” Momo said as she then raised an eyebrow “Oh, I think it’s one of Ashley’s pets.” Glowing eyes from the shadows revealed a brown furred cat yawning and stretching. “Yeah, best not to push it time to bounce.”
The two flew up with the cat trying to grab them yet, failed as Momo dumped some sleep powder on it. Higher and higher they flew zig zagging back the way they came. “Ok, I know we’re not going back exactly how we came in so…?” Momo asked, holding on for dear life. “Naturally, no. Remember the turn we made that had trick wall and we landed in the kitchen?”
“Oh, I get it. I get it. Though, even if we do go through there getting out the back is gonna be…”
“Yes, I hear you, but when have we ever not broken out of difficult situations for a job?” Lonnie asked, knowing the answer. They found the wall; it spun around, and the pixies landed in a fancy kitchen. The two hid under the table to catch their breath. “Man, if we we’re bigger this would be so much more difficult.” Said Lonnie trying to catch her breath with Momo patting her on the back. The sound of footsteps entering the kitchen caught their attention. “Damn it all! Someone broke into the fortress and the crocs are dead asleep!” The voice of an angry guard was heard.
“I still can’t believe that somebody pulled that off, like how the crap did they do it?” another asked trying to process that bit of info. “Never mind how whoever broke in, we WILL make sure they won’t leave.” Ashely’s voice cut through. Momo was watching their feet from under the tablecloth as the sound of mewing and meowing was heard.
The several fluffy paws could be seen hoping about. Momo smacked her forehead hoping the cats wouldn’t give their position away. Lonnie stood upright, tapped Momo and gestured they get ready for a fight.
“Ah, here you are.” Ashely said as one of his pets jumped into his arms. He stroked the cat’s fur trying to calm down. “Sir, please don’t get upset, y-you know wh-what happens when tha-happens.”
“I am aware what happens when I get upset,” Ashely’s voice suddenly reverberated & he placed the cat on the table he clutched his chest, his nails becoming sharper and longer.
“Between a break in on my property, a thief that has somehow triggered a number of traps without a corpse to show for it & I’m out of pills…so I think I’m doing well so far.” Ashely said trying to show some composure as his eyes glowed.
“Fantastic, he really is a werewolf.” Lonnie thought as she secretly watched using her compact. “Right, of course sir.” The guard said holding up his hands.
“Oh, I suppose you’re not in the mood to hear we’re fresh out of chocolate cookies and cream ice-cream.” Said a guard as he inspected the ice box. Ashely stood for a moment blinking…then in the next instant a guttural roar and the sounds of clothes being ripped to hell were heard.
“Damn it, Melvin! You had to screw the pooch.” The first guard yelled at his colleague as their boss had transformed into a werecat. A large brown furred werecat.
“Ok, fine. He’s a werecat then.” Lonnie corrected herself as she grabbed another of her earrings as Ashely wrecked the kitchen. Thick, white fog enveloped the room; Lonnie carried Momo into the air and with monocle in hand she scanned the room.
Avoiding the havoc as best she could, the increase of guards running into the kitchen, and one furious- werecat running rampant she dumped the sleeping powder on her targets as one by one they fell asleep.
Flying as fast as she could she rounded a window. She and Momo cut open the windows with their knives. Momo grabbed the rope, hopped down, tied up the sleeping dummies and applied another powder on them then leaped right back to her friend.
“Extra insurance.” she said with a shrug through the opening.
Momo and Lonnie headed towards the mayor’s office taking in the fresh air.
“Well, that was better than the bio slugs.” Momo admitted. Lonnie agreed as she was pleased Momo was safe and that her bank balance was about to get a lot bigger.